NUCLEAR ARMAGEDDON - WE WILL ALL GO TOGETHER WHEN WE GO!

THE TEMPLE WHERE THE MISSILE HUMMED, ALERT AND PATIENTLY WAITING WHEN...

A MEGALOMANIAC COMMIE HATER STROKING THE SHINY RED BUTTON THOUGHT "HOW CAN I SELL THE IDEA OF ACCEPTABLE LOSSES AND PROPORTIONAL RESPONSES TO THE AMERICAN PUBLIC? AH, SCREW IT, WHO CARES! LIGHT THE BASTARDS UP!"

Ah, remember the good old days when all you had to worry about was IRA bombs and nuclear armageddon? None of this global warming stuff or suicide bombers - life was a much simpler back then.

A couple of incredibly brave / stupid lads (take your pick) decided to enter a nuclear missile complex in the desert. You've got to take this virtual tour - it is one of the most surreal sites on the web.

http://triggur.org/silo/silo.html

Following is a few essential and personally recommended artistic homages to the absurd threat of nuclear armageddon that so nearly destroyed the world:

SONGS:

We Will All Go Together When We Go

Glorious Words and Music By Tom Lehrer (and if you don’t know who HE is, HE is the greatest musical satirist ever lived)

When you attend a funeral,
It is sad to think that sooner or'l
Later those you love will do the same for you.
And you may have thought it tragic,
Not to mention other adjec-
Tives, to think of all the weeping they will do.
(But don't you worry.)

No more ashes, no more sackcloth,
And an arm band made of black cloth
Will some day nevermore adorn a sleeve.
For if the bomb that drops on you
Gets your friends and neighbors too,
There'll be nobody left behind to grieve.

And we will all go together when we go.
What a comforting fact that is to know.
Universal bereavement,
An inspiring achievement,
Yes, we will all go together when we go.

We will all go together when we go.
All suffused with an incandescent glow.
No one will have the endurance
To collect on his insurance,
Lloyd's of London will be loaded when they go.

Oh we will all fry together when we fry.
We'll be French fried potatoes by and by.
There will be no more misery
When the world is our rotisserie,
Yes, we will all fry together when we fry.

Down by the old maelstrom,
There'll be a storm before the calm.

And we will all bake together when we bake.
There'll be nobody present at the wake.
With complete participation
In that grand incineration,
Nearly three billion hunks of well-done steak.

Oh we will all char together when we char.
And let there be no moaning of the bar.
Just sing out a Te Deum
When you see that I.C.B.M.,
And the party will be come-as-you-are.

Oh, we will all burn together when we burn.
There'll be no need to stand and wait your turn.
When it's time for the fallout
And Saint Peter calls us all out,
We'll just drop our agendas and adjourn.

You will all go directly to your respective Valhallas.
Go directly, do not pass Go, do not collect two hundred dollars.

And we will all go together when we go.
Every Hottentot and every Eskimo.
When the air becomes uranius,
We will all go simultaneous.

Yes, we all will go together
When we all go together,

Yes we all will go together when we go.

I.C.B.M. = Intercontinental Ballistic Missile

MOVIES:

DR STRANGELOVE:
OR HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE THE BOMB

Stanley Kubrick's cold war classic is the ultimate satire of the nuclear age. It lampoons political and military insanity in a frighteningly accurate way. The highlights of the film are Peter Sellers playing a manic Dr Strangelove, a nazi war criminal working for the American government with a similar moral compass to Werner Von Braun; George C. Scott as the hyperactive General Buck Turgidson; Sterling Hayden as the insane General Jack D. Ripper, obsessed with Russian contamination of Americans' "Precious bodily fluids", and finally, Slim Pickens as a USAF pilot who rides the bomb all the way to armageddon.

THREADS

First broadcast on the BBC in 1984, this terrifyingly plausible drama now seems like a what could have been (thank God) however, the aftermath of nuclear war is still poignant and informative. Threads shows the after-effects of World War III on the UK in gritty realism. As a result, it is an uncomfortable but compulsive, incredible and jaw-dropping watch all at the same time.
WARNING: Don't watch it if you are a) eating; b) going to visit granny / the in-laws or c) expected to be the life and soul of the party anytime in the next week. It will come back to haunt you.

FAIL SAFE

Fail Safe was based on the premise that an SAC (Strategic Air Command) Nuclear Bomber failed to return to its failsafe holding pattern after an exercise. The film was made at the height of the Cold War and the paranoia and tension are palpable. Henry Fonda and Walter Matthau give an acting masterclass as the aircraft speeds past the point of no return, right on until the incendiary climax. Chilling and memorable.

THIRTEEN DAYS

Thirteen days was given a hard time by US critics upon its release however, despite the fact that it takes a few liberties with the events of the Cuban Missile Crisis, it is a compelling and intelligent political thriller. The escalation in political rhetoric and strategic manoeveuring between the USA and the USSR is as terrifying to see now as it was back then to a world waiting for bombs to start falling. It demonstrates how easy it is for situations to spiral out of the control of even our world leaders and what could have happened if Kennedy and Khruschev hadn't been able to keep their hard-liners under control. Riveting.

THE SHADOW MAKERS


Robert Oppenheimer on viewing the first atomic bomb test:

"I am become Vishnu, the destroyer of worlds"

The Shadow Makers is an intriguing look inside the early days of the Manhattan Project. Particularly memorable is a scene when the scientists are in the same room as a sphere of fissionable material and some nut is gradually lowering one half of the sphere on to the other using a screwdriver. They are studying how close the halves of the sphere have to be before critical mass is achieved - insane! Dwight Schultz is excellent as the tortured Oppenheimer.

THE FOG OF WAR - ELEVEN LESSONS

A fascinating interview with the former Secretary of Defence during both the Kennedy and Johnson administrations, Robert S. McNamara.
McNamara seems haunted by the past and he considers the Cuban Missile Crisis, The Cold War (which he considered a hot war) and the bombing of Japan in WWII.

BOOKS:

ON THE BEACH - BY NEVILLE SHUTE
THE TERMINAL BEACH - SHORT STORY BY J G BALLARD